Dear Haylee:
Haylee I won’t waste your time, so I’ll get right to it. So, I’m a Junior here at Alcorn and I have this best friend named Shayla (Not her real name) whom I adore. She’s my ride or die and she’d do anything for me. She’s been with me through some dark times and stayed there to help me when most people would have bailed on me. Shayla is a very family-oriented person and calls me her “sista from anotha motha”. I’ve been around her family numerous times, and I love the way they love on each other. Shayla is an only child so maybe that’s the reason we’re so close. As I said I’ve been around her family since we became close friends, and Shayla is a ‘Daddy’s Girl’. She loves her father with all of her heart and worships the ground that he walks on. She’s always taking about how much of a great man he is and how he loves her and her mother with all of his heart. Well, I was believing that until a few weeks ago. Ironically, Shayla and I are from small towns that are about 30 minutes apart and normally on weekends we’d go into the city and shop. Well recently when Shayla stayed at school for a football game and I went home to attend to some business I went to Baton Rouge to pick up a few things. While at the mall, I saw Shayla’s dad hugged up with a younger woman who wasn’t Shayla’s mom. I mean they were full on PDA and couldn’t keep their hands off of one another. And to make it even more cringe the young woman was my age (between 19-21). I took a few pictures of them and followed them until they went into a motel parking lot. My question to you is, knowing how much Shayla loves her dad and sets him on this huge pedestal, should I tell her what I saw and risk our friendship or should I just keep what I saw to myself. I mean I don’t want Shayla and her mom to be hurt but what her dad is doing is wrong. HELP ME HAYLEE! What should I do in this situation.
To Tell or Not to Tell
Dear To Tell or Not to Tell:
It is apparent that you and your best friend, Shayla’s, friendship is very important to you. From sticking around through dark times, to being that companion when you need her. These are more reasons why disclosing her father’s infidelity is important. A friend’s love isn’t conditional. Therefore, it would only be right to disclose what you saw with some conditions. This disclosure should be private between only you and Shayla. This disclosure should also be judgement free. It’s best to not go in opinionated as opinions can easily be misconstrued. By simply disclosing the information out of love, and with the integrity of the family in mind the friendship should remain the same. In fact, finding ways to relate to Shayla throughout the conversation could make her feel more comfortable because it’s obvious, she isn’t being attacked. All in all, privately share what you discovered with Shayla, be sensitive to the topic, and leave the decision up to her. I hope this helps.
Haylee
